Just thoughts

Ten days has passed since my last record. Well, work can take away you strength sometimes and all you can think about is bed...
I red Veronica's Varlow diary - blog today. Oh, how wonderful this women can write. I think she herself is a wonder. And I know that there is many undiscovered wonders like her, and I hope I'll discover them sooner or later. It's so nice sometimes to stop rushing and enjoy those wonders in one or other form. This time I enjoyed it in written form. Her words are always so calming. It's strange how we often give a voice to a people we never  meet and imagine that this is how they would sound if they would be speaking out loud. Well, I would lie if I said that I never met Veronica. I had a chance to see her performing with Emilie Autumn on her tour. If not Emilie, I would never have knew about Veronica. I always say that every event and every person in your life is important, be it a sad or a good thing, it connects you to something meaningful in your life, that would be missed in other way. When I grow up I didn't knew what kind of woman I wanted to be. I didn't wanted to be like my mother since she always was too domineering. I wanted to be strong, but not manly, sexy, but not slutty, caring but not bored house wife, adventurous but not irresponsible, loving but not obsessed with it. And some how I found it all in Veronica. She connects all thing I treasure in a woman and proves to me, that it all can be compatible. 
A year has almost past since I had a major changes in my life and found myself from the different point. I was a little afraid animal who was grasped to her most lovable person and became blind. I thought that if I do nothing, that nothing will change and will stay the same. But life is a river and you can't step in the same river twice. Even if you'll keep standing in it, it will change around you. It' will not be the same river. So you must became a river yourself. 
I like what I have become. I started to treasure myself, I stopped thinking about negatives things in me and my body. Instead I started to unmask the positives ones. I started to compliment myself and for that "myself" responded with more merits. 
Maybe it's true that a woman starts to blossom  after her 30th  years.Well two more year, but I already like myself now much more that ever :)

                                                             A year before and this spring.

Me with my lovely leather corset.

Gothically Yours... ;)


  1. I'm glad your in a better place than you were a year ago, though I didnt know you then and still don't really.

    I love what you siad about the river, very beautiful, and true.

  2. Oh, thank you :) I think sometimes we have to peel of the old self and to discover new one. That's what I did :)