Falling apart

Today I wanted to delete this blog. I wanted to delete myself with it because I thought that it's not important anymore. I'm lost. I'm lost more the ever and don't even know who I am or why I am...It's all slipping and I don't really even care.

I feel like fading away and nothing I do helps me. All little things that kept me alive somehow became hollow, non important and meaningless... I feel like in slow motion movie except I'm the only one who is slow.  Oh, It's such a misery! I know what it is. I know how it's called and I'm holding not to fall in completely.

I wanted to delete this blog. But then scrolling through the photos I have uploaded made me see myself alive. It made me remember that I was happy, that I loved what I did. I was alive once and there is hope I'll come back again... I'll leave it here. For myself.


  1. I hope you don't delete your blog, I like your style. Everybody goes through this period of being down and completely unmotivated. A few months ago I had no motivation to do anything, my OCD was destroying my life and I was depressed because of finances. After changing up my diet I noticed an improvement, and I forced myself to do stuff even if I didn't feel up to it. Eventually I felt better and came back to doing the things I really love, like sewing and drawing. It sounds like you just need to take some time to take care of yourself.

  2. Netrink! Ir nepasiduok... Tavo darbai ir rašliava bloge įkvepia. :) Visiems būna akimirkų (dėl įviariausių priežasčių), kai nieko nebesinori ir viskas praranda prasmę. Galbūt reikia atsijungti nuo kasdienybės ir "persikrauti", galbūt tai net padėtų atrasti ką nors naujo... Tik nepasiduok!

  3. Please do not delete your blog I enjoy reading about the amazing things that you do, I go on your blog during and after school because I cannot get enough of it. I love your style it help me realize how much I love BJD and Gothic fashion. Stay strong Audronasha!

  4. I really hope you don't delete this blog. I really enjoy reading your posts. What you are describing sounds like depression. For me depression is like being eaten from the inside where my identity and emotions just feel dead. It could be seasonal, mine has definitely been worse this winter (which annoys me enormously as I actually like the autumn and winter time). As far as your blog is concerned take a break if you need it but don't delete it, especially when you are feeling shitty. There's a saying that I like that says not to make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling. It may not feel temporary at the moment but things will improve.

  5. Keep fighting!!! You are awesome artist, your creations and pictures are so inspiring.

    I hope you can defeat all your bad/sad feelings.

  6. hey! I like reading your blog! don't leave us. If you tell us what's going on, we might be able to help

  7. Hallå Audrey!!
    I recommend this book:
    "Sur les cimes du désespoir" E.M.CIORAN
    It will help you to find many hidden feelings/thoughts inside your inner being i think
    Very raw... just to the point, nothing more
    Nice weekend!